Funeral Customs Across Faiths — What to Expect & How to Be Supportive
Different faiths, shared compassion. This guide explains what typically happens at funerals in major religions, what to wear, whether flowers or food are appropriate, and simple ways to support grieving families. Practices vary by region and denomination—when in doubt, ask the family or the officiant.
Dress & arrival
Ceremony flow
Flowers, food & charity
Mourning periods & visits
At a glance
- Arrive early, dress modestly. Dark or subdued colors are safest unless the family specifies otherwise.
- Follow the lead of the family. Stand/sit, head coverings, prayer responses—participate respectfully without overstepping.
- Condolences matter more than perfection. A short kind message (“I’m so sorry for your loss”) is always appropriate.
- Ask about flowers vs. donations. Some traditions discourage flowers and prefer charity.
Customs below are typical, not universal; local practice and the family’s wishes come first.
Customs by tradition
Christianity (Catholic/Protestant/Orthodox)
Timing
Visitation/wake, funeral service, then burial or cremation committal.
Service
Scripture, hymns, eulogy(ies). In Catholic/Orthodox services, Holy Communion may be offered.
Dress
Dark/modest; head coverings optional except in some Orthodox settings.
Flowers
Common at wakes/services; memorial donations also welcome.
Notes
Stand/sit cues are guided by officiant; non-Christians may refrain from communion.
Judaism
Timing
Burial as soon as practical; funeral typically at synagogue or funeral home, then graveside.
Service
Prayers (e.g., El Malei Rachamim), eulogies; simple wooden casket if used.
Dress
Dark/modest; men may be offered a kippah. No open casket.
Flowers
Often discouraged; tzedakah (charity) preferred. Meal of consolation after burial.
Mourning
Shiva (first 7 days) with home visits; bring kosher food and avoid scheduling conflicts with Shabbat/holy days.
Islam
Timing
Burial as soon as possible; simple washing and shrouding; no embalming if avoidable.
Service
Janazah prayer—brief, standing only; often held at the mosque then immediate burial.
Dress
Modest attire; women may cover hair; shoes off in prayer hall.
Flowers
Not typical; charity or support for the family preferred.
Notes
Men usually attend burial; customs vary by community; condolences are welcome.
Hinduism
Disposition
Cremation is common; rituals led by family/priest; ashes later immersed in water.
Dress
Light/white clothing often preferred (varies by region); remove shoes at temples.
Offerings
Flowers/garlands are common; food gifts to family may be appreciated.
Mourning
Period of ritual observance (e.g., 10–13 days) with prayers; avoid festive events.
Buddhism
Disposition
Cremation or burial; chanting by monks/priests; quiet reflection emphasized.
Dress
Modest, often dark; in some cultures white is used. Shoes off in temple spaces.
Offerings
Incense, flowers, donations to temple; avoid grand displays.
Mourning
Memorial days (e.g., 7th, 49th) in some traditions; refrain from loud celebration.
Sikhism
Service
Antim Ardas (final prayer) and scripture readings from the Guru Granth Sahib; cremation common.
Dress
Modest; cover head in gurdwara; remove shoes.
Offerings
Donations to gurdwara; communal meal (langar) may follow.
Notes
Focus on equality/serving; avoid alcohol/meat in gurdwara spaces.
Bahá’í
Disposition
Burial within one hour’s travel of the place of death; specific burial ring/wrap may be used.
Service
Prayers/readings; simple and dignified.
Notes
Emphasis on unity and simplicity; donations in lieu of flowers may be suggested.
Eastern Orthodox (specific notes)
Service
Funeral with chants and incense; open casket is common; cross-signing and bowing may occur.
Dress
Dark/modest; women may cover hair depending on local custom.
Mourning
Memorial services at set intervals (e.g., 40th day).
Non-religious / Humanist
Service
Focus on the person’s life—readings, music, eulogies; can be held at funeral home or meaningful venue.
Dress
Dark or per family request (“wear bright colors” is common).
Notes
Flowers or donations per family wishes; reception may follow.
Flowers, food & giving
- Ask first. Some communities discourage flowers (e.g., many Jewish and Muslim families) and prefer donations or bringing food to the home.
- Food gifts: Check dietary rules (kosher/halal/vegetarian). Label ingredients and send disposable containers.
- Donations: If a charity is listed in the notice/obituary, follow that preference and include a message to the family.
What to say (and what to avoid)
Helpful
- “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
- “Your loved one meant a lot to me because …”
- “I’m here if you need help with childcare/errands/meals.”
Neutral/safer
- “Thinking of you and your family.”
- “Wishing you strength and comfort.”
Avoid
- Explaining the loss (“everything happens for a reason”).
- Comparing grief or giving unsolicited advice.
- Debating religious beliefs at the service or home.
Visits & mourning periods
- Home visits: Follow the family’s schedule; remove shoes if customary; keep stays considerate in length.
- Prayer/meal gatherings: Joining is a sign of support—ask ahead how to participate respectfully.
- Anniversaries & memorials: Many traditions hold services at set intervals; a note or donation on those dates means a lot.
Note: Customs vary widely by country, ethnicity, and denomination. When unsure, contact the funeral director, clergy, or a family friend for guidance.
FAQs
Can I attend if I’m not of the same faith?
Generally yes—funerals are public acts of mourning. Participate respectfully (stand/sit), and skip any rites reserved for adherents (e.g., communion).
Is it okay to bring children?
It depends on the family and the child’s temperament. If you bring children, brief them on quiet behavior and be ready to step out if needed.
What should I wear?
Dark, modest clothing is the safest default. Some traditions prefer white or light colors—follow the notice or the family’s request.
